So here it is. The first post in the office. To be completely honest, I have no idea how to start this thing out. I have no advice to dispense at this point--namely because no one knows about this blog except for the guys who keep up the two links under "The Blogs". Take a minute to check out the links. More will be coming as I think of them.
So I'm going to a chili cookoff/costume party on Friday, which means tomorrow I will have to start making my chili. To those who don't make chili (or don't take pride in their chili), this is a serious process. I will gather all of the ingredients (which of course I will tell no one), get them mixed up, then let the concoction sit in the fridge until Friday morning. I'll put it on the stove in the morning, which will allow for some serious slow cooking. Of course, I'll have to get my wife to stir it every now and then because I'll be at work, but when I come home, that stuff will be just about ready to go. It'll be on low heat for about 10 hours. And it will rule. As a side note, I must say this: some people think that a good chili is just hot. I beg to differ. Hot chili is certainly a good thing, but if it's so hot that you can't taste it, the chili is useless. There are always a few people at a chili cookoff (back me up on this, rednecks) that bring hot and tasteless chili, have a few laughs when people can't eat it, and then throw it away when they get home because all of the skin in their mouth is ruined for a month. Real chili is hot enough to make you sweat, but you can't stop eating it because it's just too good.
As for the costume party aspect, it will be a bunch of people doing a "trunk or treat", as they say--where you get candy and keep it in the trunk of your car for all the kids to come around and get from you. Sunday isn't the best day around here to celebrate Halloween, so our church is doing it on Friday night. Not that there will be as many cars as there would be houses, but I digress. Anyway, I plan on dressing up like a hideous zombie and standing outside of my car so that the kids will be too scared to come get the candy and I can eat it all. I have an SUV, so it'll be all decked out. Ladies and gentlemen: the Friday night of a married man.
Now you may ask yourself: "What's a guy like this know about being Tha Docta of Love?" Well, you'll never know unless you ask me questions, so let's get this thing rollin'.
9 years ago
6 comments:
Two comments:
One, I don't get why everybody loves chili so much. I like spicy foods, and I like tasty foods, but chili is frankly disgusting. I don't know if it's the beans (bleah)or just the overall taste (bleah again) or what, but I have never yet tasted a chili I actually wanted another bite of (and that includes the beanless chili variety). So someone tell me, what's the draw?
Two, is it just me or is Trunk or Treat a bit frightening and ghetto. "C'mere little kid. I've got a suprise for you in the trunk of my car. You like candy don't you?" I mean, isn't this what we teach our children NOT to do 364 days of the year? Talk about mixed messages. If I were a kid, I'd be thinking. "Wait a minute, so there really IS candy in stranger's cars? Then screw this "Don't talk to strangers" business. Gimme some candy!"
Dear Doctor,
How did you earn your PhD? I understand this happened in college, but surely you did something to earn the nickname.
Sincerely,
Dylan
P.S. I like Chili. Joel is a loser for not liking Chili. I have always thought that.
As an answer to the chili question, I ask another question: Joel, do you like sushi? Because sushi is straight up nasty. I even like fish, and I tried sushi willingly. I even wanted to like it! I thought it would make me more cultural or something. But it's still nasty. If you don't like sushi, I can address your comment. If so, I think that fact alone speaks for itself.
Also, as for the trunk or treat thing, I plan on teaching my kids only to do that in a parking lot where I am also present. That way, they can take the rap for buying drugs out of some guy's car, and I can testify against them.
By the way--any question like Dylan's needs to go to my email to be considered for the "Ask Tha Docta" section. Let me also just agree with the post scrip to his comment.
First of all, sushi is delicious. And before you question me, just remember that I'm always right.
Second of all, I stand by my earlier statement that chili tastes like someone just put everything they own--including shoes--into a pot. It's nasty.
Finally, I would like to point out that taking candy (or other things) out of the trunks of people's cars is what landed me in jail the last time. So you'd better believe I'm not making that mistake twice.
I have absolutely the oddest group of friends one man could possibly have.
I like Sushi AND Chili...maybe I should develop more discriminating tastes???
Maybe I should use a question mark only after an actual question? What do you guys think!
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