Luke, Chapter 2 at 8:32 PM

So let me just say this about the epidural: it was the most horrible thing ever. First of all, the anesthetic wore off around 4:00 am or so. They called the anesthesiologist a bit before that so that he could get there and work his magic with as little pain as possible. The problem was that he didn't arrive until about 5:00. So the contractions continued to get worse, and this time there was no pain medication. Apparently the guy that was there wasn't their regular doctor. The regular guy had made a trip to India (where apparently all anesthesiologists are from) for a lecture or something, and ended up staying to help out after the tsunami. So anyway, the guy showed up an hour late. The nurses didn't know why he was late, and he offered no explanation, so we just dealt with it. At that time, we were just glad that glorious numbness was about to take effect. This was not to be the case as immediately as we had hoped.

For those who don't know, an epidural is not just one shot. It's a series of shots that ends with a catheter being inserted somewhere around the spine. So I watched this guy get out all of his gear, which consisted of a lot of needles and a lot of mystery liquid. He told her he was going to wash the area (sterilize it with iodine), and prepared her by saying "cold and wet". I thought, "Well it's nice that he's preparing her for the things that she can't see, being that this is all taking place on her back". Unfortunately, this was the only thing for which he provided a warning. After the cleaning, he started poking her in the back with needles. Of course, that's the idea of this sort of thing, but it would have been nice for her to know when he was planning on sticking her so that she could maybe brace herself, or maybe say "Just a second, I'm having a contraction". I don't think that'd be too much to ask. But instead he just started throwing those needles into my wife's spine. This was enough to piss me off right there, but I was more focused on Jessica then on beating the doctor down. She, on the other hand, was probably the most angry that I've ever seen her. He would stick her, and then he'd say something like, "You have to hold still", or "Try not to flinch". He said this, of course, after he had already stuck her. During the series of needles, Jessica started yelling that it hurt. He obviously didn't stop because all of the sudden she screamed out "Ouch! My leg!".

Now, I work with needles and blood all day. It doesn't bother me, even when it's my wife being stuck. On the other hand, having people stick needles in her spine, and hitting nerves that cause her leg pain--I can't handle that stuff. Up until that point, I'd been standing in front of her, holding her shoulders forward so that her back was arched out. When she started yelling, I got dizzy and could barely stand up. I had to go sit in the corner while the nurse took over. She told me later that my lips turned the same color as my shirt (white). I had no trouble believing this. All I could think of was her being seriously hurt by this guy. Well, after all that mess, he said that he had to do it again because he missed the spot where the catheter needed to go. He said things like "I have to get it exactly in the right spot or it won't work". I can understand that it's an exact science,. I know that everyone can't be perfect all the time. But then he started blaming it on her spine. He said "maybe your spine is fused, or crooked or something". I was stunned into silence, and considering the situation, I wasn't about to start getting confrontational with the guy. I needn't have worried about it though, because Jessica was more angry at this point than she was before. She of course let him know that it would probably be easier for her to hold still if she knew when it was time to brace herself. He ended up getting it right with the second series of needles, and this earned him a temporary reprieve in Jessica's book. I can only assume that the complete numbness in half of her body had something to do with that. She said that the epidural was definitely worth it. I must add, however, that she's still not a fan of the guy.

If all goes according to plan, the third and final chapter will be posted some time tonight. But as we all know, I've said things like that before.