Individual Annoyances at 7:38 PM

You know what bothers me?  When people try to use longer words in order to sound official or intelligent.  There are a lot of instances of this, but the main offender here is the word “individual”.  I don’t mean that in the context of “individually wrapped”, or something like that.  I mean when it’s used as another word for “person” or “people”.  I can’t see any reason to say “certain individuals” instead of “certain people”.  All it does is add three more syllables.  There’s no enhancement of meaning.  There’s no flavoring in that word that makes it exciting or anything.  It’s just a bland word used to make people sound like they know what they’re talking about.  I notice it most during speeches and accounts of events.  Every time I hear it I cringe and think, “I’m going to pull out each of my individual hairs”.  It’s especially annoying (but also a little funny) to see certain individuals on TV recount something that happened, like a robbery or something.  I mean the people that are wearing a wife beater and boxer shorts and say, “And then I saw these two individuals runnin’ down the street with that lady’s purse”.  It’s obvious that these people use the word only because there’s a TV camera there.  No one uses that word in conversation.  Seriously, have you ever been talking to someone and heard them say, “Well I was in line to use the bathroom, and this one individual in front of me kept breaking wind!”  Of course you haven’t.  In fact, I bet you can’t even think of the last time you heard someone say “break wind”.  Go ahead and try.  

Anyway, the main thing I’d like you to take away from this, faithful reader(s), is that you don’t have to use big words to sound intelligent.  Just use words that you always use in conversation.  It’s refreshing and it makes you look like a regular person rather than some goofy guy in a suit or girl in a pantsuit.  Today’s challenge:  take this last paragraph and re-phrase it using corporate-speak and pointless big words in the comments section.  It’s fun!

Song of the day:  “Teenage Wasteland”, by The Who.  If you haven’t heard the “Who’s Next” album in a while, throw it in your CD player.  You’ll remember how awesome it is.

P.S.:  Yes, I’ll be posting about the drubbing that the Eagles took yesterday.  Don’t ask me about it.  I don’t want to talk about it, okay?