Poisoned! Or Should I Say...Poisoned? at 6:20 PM

I’m back from a relatively brief hiatus with a cautionary tale.  Last Wednesday, the wife and I went to Pizza Hut for the lunch buffet before I went to work.  We had a coupon for a free buffet with the purchase of one, so we figured we’d go ahead and do that, there being two of us and all.  

The day was rather uneventful, as most days are I suppose, until about 7:00, when I began to feel some stomach pain.  This was somewhat troubling, but I didn’t think it was that big a deal.  I should mention that until this point, I could not remember the last time I’d thrown up.  I have, as I like to say, an iron stomach.  It had to have been at least 9 or 10 years.  So I got home at around 8:30 or so, and we started watching “American Idol” and waiting for “Lost” to come on.  I’d started to get the chills and extra-sensitive skin by now (you know…when it hurts that your arm hairs are brushing against your clothes), so I knew something was amiss.  My wife made the comment that I didn’t look so good either.

I was pretty uncomfortable for the next hour or so, but mostly because of the skin thing.  Well, right around the end of “Lost”, it hit me.  I hadn’t puked in a long time, but it’s not a feeling you forget when it comes back.  The saliva jets and the impending sense that the eviction notice has just gone up in your stomach is undeniable.  So I ran to the facilities and did what I had to do.  And oh, what an initiation back into the world of abdominal expulsion it was.  I was not aware that one could vomit out of one’s nose.  (While I’m on the subject, here’s a question:  How do you get rid of the smell?  I tried blowing my nose and snorting water, but it was no use.)  It was definitely an unpleasant experience.  

So I figured, what with the flu-like symptoms, that I had some kind of stomach flu.  And for the record, I did feel better afterwards, though only for about 10 minutes.  And my color didn’t go back to normal, either; unless my normal pallor had resembled that of Herman Munster, in which case I looked perfectly fine.

We went to bed shortly after this whole event; me with extra blankets, because I just couldn’t get warm.  The next morning at about 4:00, I woke up to find my wife having the same symptoms that I had earlier exhibited, only at more frequent intervals.  In fact, by about 6:30, she was throwing up every couple of minutes.  It was not good times.  I was also visiting the facilities at an alarming rate, though not for the same thing.  Let’s just say it was good that we have more than one bathroom in the house.  If we still lived in an apartment, things could have very easily gotten ugly.

After a little while longer, we decided we should go to the emergency room rather than wait for the doctor’s office to open, try to get an appointment, wait in the waiting room, wait in the second waiting room, etc, etc.  I used to have a different view of the emergency room.  I envisioned scenes from “ER”.  Really, an emergency as defined by the room itself is just something that can’t wait 4 or 5 hours (at least) before you take care of it.

I decided not to check us both in since we pretty much had the same thing going on, and it would cost twice as much.  So I figured I’d pay attention when they told her what to do.  They told us it was either food poisoning or the stomach flu, since both have pretty much the same symptoms and the same treatments.  They gave Jessica an IV and some anti-nausea drugs, and some friends came and got Luke so that we could get some rest.  Of course, the downside of not having checked myself in was that I didn’t get a bed, so I sat in an uncomfortable chair while the IV ran out and Jessica got some sleep.  

Needless to say, I didn’t go to work that day.  I also didn’t go to work the next day actually, because when I wasn’t all high on vicodin, I was in a lot of pain.

So the verdict is still kind of out on whether it was food poisoning or the stomach flu.  I’m leaning towards food poisoning since we both got within about 3 hours of each other, and Luke hasn’t come down with anything.  And if you’re wondering how pizza can give you food poisoning, look no further than undercooked chicken on a barbecue chicken pizza.  It’s my favorite kind as of late, and as with most good things, it has its dangers.  Anyway, this is also why there were no posts here last week and minimal posts on the other two blogs.  There is a new trailer park up over at Eight Cents, though.  I always enjoy writing those.  

Song of the Day:  “Tribute”, by Tenacious D.  One of the all time greatest music videos ever.  Also pretty good just to listen to.  I listened to the whole album recently for the first time, and I actually rather enjoyed it in a weird way.